'Date Them Till You Hate Them' Is The Latest Dating Trend Sweeping Social Media

 

It used to be that “dating” meant awkward dinners, accidentally revealing embarrassing facts about yourself, and nervously wondering if you should text back the next day. Now, thanks to social media, dating has evolved into a competitive sport where trends emerge faster than you can swipe left. The latest one: 'Date Them Till You Hate Them' that is being stylised as 'Date 'Em Til You Hate 'Em'.

 

There’s no denying that social media excels at turning the absurd into the celebrated. Hashtags like #DateTillYouHate and viral TikTok videos showcasing people dramatically narrating their descent from “he seemed nice at first” to “I can’t stand this person” have made it seem trendy, almost aspirational. But in reality, it’s a cry for help wrapped in memes. What Is “Date Them Till You Hate Them”?

 

In the wasteland of Instagram reels and TikTok videos, this unsettling trend has emerged as a baffling new pastime for Gen Z daters. The basic idea is simple in concept but self-sabotaging in practice: date someone until you genuinely, truly hate them. No, this is not a plotline from a bad reality TV show. Instead, it’s being framed as some sort of badge of honour, a rite of passage for those who “just can’t seem to find the right one.”

 

People are bragging about going on endless dates, staying in relationships long past the point of enjoyment, and watching the love evaporate into pure irritation, frustration, and eventual resentment.

 

Let’s take a moment for common sense to sneak in. Why would anyone intentionally turn affection into antipathy? “This trend reflects a deeper sense of disillusionment in dating culture. Instead of seeking meaningful connections, it becomes a passive, destructive experiment. People are testing their capacity for tolerance or endurance, as if to prove they can survive a slow relationship collapse,” says Sheetal Vohra-Gulati, certified behavioural therapist, and the founder of Positive Ripples in Pune.

 

It’s not empowerment. It’s passive-aggressive self-sabotage dressed up as a social media trend. And worse, it leaves people emotionally exhausted, bitter, and stuck in toxic relationship cycles.

 

 

A cross-sectional study done in 2024 shows that over 40% of teens in India feel overwhelmed by the pressure to keep up with what their peers are doing. The line between authentic connection and performative dating has blurred, leaving many to believe that enduring disappointment is a modern romantic virtue.

 

Take Ananya G, a 26-year-old sales executive from Mumbai. She jumped on the “Date Them Till You Hate Them” bandwagon after a particularly nasty breakup. “At first, I thought it was liberating. I went on date after date, thinking I was in control. But it just felt like ticking boxes in a weird relationship scavenger hunt. I ended up more jaded and hopeless about love than ever.”

 

Then there’s Priyank, a software engineer in Bengaluru, who calls it “the most exhausting, pointless trend I’ve ever participated in.” He adds, “I was trying to prove I could survive a bad relationship, or at least not be pathetic enough to leave early. Instead, I lost time, energy, and self-respect. Nothing to brag about.”

 

Healthy dating isn’t about endurance or testing how much dysfunction you can tolerate before snapping. It’s about clarity, values, and mutual respect. Instead of trying to “see how long it takes to hate them,” why not design your dating life intentionally?

 

If you’re tempted by this trend, stop scrolling. Stop chasing validation through self-inflicted dating disasters. Real love isn’t a badge of endurance... it’s about choosing people who align with your values, who make life easier, not harder.

So, instead of bragging about your ability to date till you hate, how about celebrating the courage to date well? Prioritize presence over performance, because that’s way cooler.