Ghosting Explained: How One Blue Tick Can Wreck Your Brain, And Coping When You Don't Have Closure After Being Ghosted

 

Let’s set the scene. It’s 11:42 pm. You’ve brushed your teeth, climbed into bed, and you’re feeling just a little warm inside as you text that someone: maybe a simple “Goodnight” or “Had fun talking today.” You stare at your phone for a few minutes, waiting for the blue ticks. But they never come.

 

Morning arrives.

 No text.

Lunchtime.

Still nothing.

Dinner. Your phone is suspiciously silent.

 A day becomes two. Then a week. You have officially been ghosted.

 

What Is Ghosting? For those blissfully unaware of ghosting, let’s define it.

 

Ghosting is when someone you’ve been chatting with (whether on Bumble, Phone, WhatsApp, or in real life) suddenly disappears without explanation. One day, they’re sending you song recommendations and LOLs; the next, they’ve vanished into the ether. No message. No warning. No closure. They’re not dead. They’ve just decided to stop existing for you.

 

Why Does It Hurt So Much? Now you may ask, “Why does ghosting hurt so much, especially if the relationship was casual or barely a few weeks old?” It’s a valid question. After all, wasn’t this person just a chatting buddy? A situationship at best? But the thing is, humans are emotional hoarders.

 

We collect the small things: the regular good morning texts, the random “did you eat?” check-ins, the emojis that made us smile. Those small things become part of our day. When someone pulls the plug on that routine without explanation, it stings. As trauma-informed psychotherapist Mansi Poddar says, “Even the smallest connection can mean something. You get used to the comfort of having someone there. And when that suddenly disappears without a word, it hurts. It’s not just about losing the person; it’s about how they left.” Ghosting leaves you hanging in an uncomfortable vacuum. You’re not just heartbroken; you’re confused. You find yourself spiraling with self-doubt: “Did I say something wrong? Was I too clingy? Did they find someone better?” Sometimes it’s the silence, the not knowing, that cuts deeper than the actual ending.

 

What Does Gen Z Say?

If you think Gen Z has grown immune to this emotional whiplash, think again. They might joke about it, meme it, or pretend to shrug it off, but ghosting hits them hard too. Shreya Bansal, 22, a college student from Mumbai, tells us, “Honestly, I expect to be ghosted after like three weeks. It’s almost a pattern now... things go great, then bam! Silence.” Rishabh Rao, 26, who works in a startup in Bengaluru, admits, “I ghosted someone once because I panicked. She was way more into me than I was ready for. I didn’t know how to say it without sounding like a jerk.” Mehek R., 23, a graphic designer in Hyderabad, says: “Ghosting hurts because you’re denied the dignity of a goodbye.” She adds that it is emotional gaslighting in silence. A digital disappearing act that tells you: “You imagined the whole thing.”

 

What Does Ghosting Say About The Ghost?

What does this pattern say about the person doing it: Are they emotionally immature? Afraid of confrontation? Or just plain rude? Mansi Poddar believes it’s complicated. “It’s hard to pin it down to one thing. For some, it’s fear of commitment. Others avoid confrontation. Some don’t know how to express disinterest without being the bad guy. And yes, unresolved trauma or emotional immaturity can be part of it too.” The key thing to remember here is this: ghosting often reflects more about them than it does about you. It’s their coping mechanism, not your failure. Understanding this won’t erase the hurt, but it can offer perspective. It can help you realise that their silence speaks more about their emotional bandwidth (or lack thereof) than your worth as a person.

 

How To Heal After You've Been Ghosted

Healing is the tough part. How do you move on from something that never officially ended? How do you process pain when there’s no closure? Mansi offers some valuable advice: “The first and most important step is reminding yourself that this says more about them than it does about you. Don’t internalise it. Ghosting often reflects the other person’s inability to handle uncomfortable emotions, not your worth or how loveable you are.” It helps to reframe the situation. Instead of thinking, “They left because something was wrong with me,” try telling yourself, “They didn’t have the maturity to end this properly.” That simple mental shift can take a lot of the sting out. And yes, it still hurts. It’s okay to feel sad, confused, or even angry. Give yourself space to feel those emotions. Talk to friends. Write about it. Cry into your pillow if you have to but resist the urge to chase the ghost. Don’t send a final “I just want to understand what happened” message. Don’t stalk their Instagram hoping for clues. And definitely don’t keep the door open in case they decide to drift back in. Sometimes, closure doesn’t come from the other person; you have to create it for yourself.