Shillong Honeymoon Mystery: Why Didn’t She Just Leave? What Drives Women To Kill Their Husbands?

 

 

 

Traditionally, women are seen as nurturers and peacemakers. However, in the last few months, a disturbing pattern has been making headlines – women turning into cold conspirators in the murders of their husbands. The common thread? An extramarital affair and a lover willing to kill. It was once a rare occurrence but now it is unsettlingly frequent. This year, at least six cases of women killing their husbands have been reported.

 

 

These are not crimes of impulse, but calculated acts, often committed in cold bold, born from desperate desire to begin a new life, which is one without the husband. A case in point is the much-talked-about Raja Raghuvanshi and Sonam Raghuvanshi case. It was a honeymoon for the newlyweds in the picturesque state of Meghalaya but what followed was tragic and shocking – Raja's family received his body – and the mystery continued. On June 4, Raja's body was found inside a deep gorge near Welsawdong Falls. His hand showed a tattoo, "Raja and a lady", which confirmed his identity. It wasn't a death, but an alleged killing. Nagaland police say that Raja was murdered using a weapon called a 'dao' (machete).

 

The post-mortem report is awaited to determine if Raja was killed before or after falling into the gorge. Meanwhile, Sonam was initially reported missing and was found by the UP police at a dhaba on the Varanasi-Ghazipur main road. According to the Nagaland police, three men have also been arrested, who are believed to have been hired to kill Raja Raghuvanshi, allegedly by his wife Sonam. A Disturbing Pattern Across India The Raja and Sonam case is not an isolated incident. Across India, several similar cases have emerged. This shows a disturbing trend of women conspiring to murder their husbands. Earlier this year in March, a Merchant Navy officer from Uttar Pradesh's Meerut was murdered and chopped up and the 15-odd pieces of his body were put into a drum and sealed with cement. Behind this chilling crime, police said, was an extramarital affair.

 

Days after this, a UP woman hired a killer to murder her husband. It was revealed that as the victim's wife and her lover were unable to meet after her marriage, they decided to kill the husband. In the same month, a 42-year-old woman with her 30-year-old lover was arrested for allegedly murdering her husband and setting his body on fire in Jaipur. The perpetrators conspired to kill the victim, a vegetable vendor and burned his body in a forest area to cover their tracks. In April this year, a UP woman mixed rat poison in husband's tea and strangled him with a rope to death with her lover's help in Bareilly's Fatehganj in UP. In February, a woman and her lover were arrested for allegedly killing her husband in Uttar Pradesh's Mainpuri.

 

The two added sleeping pills to her husband's food and then reportedly struck him with an iron wrench. The two then took the body to a field and set it on fire to destroy evidence. In the same month, a 38-year-old woman was sentenced to life imprisonment for murdering his differently abled husband with the help of a 17-year-old paramour and dumping the body in a brick kiln near their village in 2023. She has two children as well. This is concerning, especially about the lengths to which individuals will go to pursue extramarital relationships, even at the cost of human life. Why Do Women Take Such a Drastic Step? Marriage in India still comes with immense pressure, especially in traditional households.

 

There is a limited scope for exit. Divorce is taboo, especially for women. There's a toxic mix of expectations, emotional suffocation, and the euphoria of newfound romantic attention, which can push some women to the edge. Relationship therapist Chaitali Joshi says that when a woman suddenly finds someone who makes her feel alive after being unheard, unfulfilled, and unloved, that emotion becomes overwhelming for women. "They don't see the reality of murder, prison, destruction as the aftermath of their action because the feeling of 'starting over' becomes overpowering," says Joshi. But not all women in bad marriages kill. So why do some cross the line? And in Sonam's case, it's a new marriage. One must look beyond the act itself and see the underlying emotional, psychological, and social triggers. Dr. Maya Sharma, a criminal psychologist, explains that these individuals often experience intense emotional turmoil. "Jealousy and a desire for control are primary reasons. Acts of murder may stem from a perceived betrayal or the need to eliminate obstacles to their desires.

 

These are not crimes of passion in the conventional sense. These killings are often planned. The killer doesn't want to hurt the spouse, they simply want to remove them. They are emotionally disconnected, so they want to replace their guilt with justification," says Dr Sharma. Dr Aparna Shrivastava, a clinical psychologist says in some cases individuals may have a history of personality disorders or unresolved trauma from the past. "It can manifest in violent behaviour when they come across relationship challenges. They find themselves trapped and cornered, either financially, socially, or emotionally. When they feel they can't exit the marriage, they take these steps. They convince themselves that murder is a cleaner solution than leaving the relationship," explains Dr Shrivastava. Experts also say that in some cases narcissistic tendencies or antisocial personality traits also play a role in taking these drastic steps. "The bigger concern is that there's not enough desensitisation, especially in younger adults who are exposed to violent content online," points out Dr Shrivastava.

 

She also says that in most cases parents do see these psychological challenges in their children but lack of awareness leaves it unresolved. "Parents need to be vigilant for early intervention and counselling to address underlying issues before they escalate into violence," recommends the clinical psychologist. Unhappy Marriages, Cultural Stigmas, and Silent Crisis One may think why not separation from the spouse or divorce? The answer may lie in the Indian cultural context, where divorce is still stigmatised, especially for women.

 

Economic dependency, family pressure, fear of shame, or in the case of a child, its custody battles, most of the time discourage women from opting for legal measures. Then, some choose the path they think is easier, which is unthinkable for many. "This is like the final escape for them. It's not a justification but a warning sign that society doesn't offer healthy exits," opines social psychologist Maya Mehta. These murders are alarming indicators of a society that's struggling to evolve when it comes to relationships. Honest communication in marriages, the stigma around divorce that makes women feel trapped, and growing up in a culture of hyper-individualism, where personal happiness is everything are some of the reasons why women find 'killing' an easy way and also as revenge.

 

Love Shouldn't Be A Death Sentence The question here is not just why women kill, but what we as a society are failing to provide. A safe and respectable exit from an unhappy marriage, emotional support, and a non-judgmental space to seek help and move on in society. Women are on a time-ticking bomb and when they find 'killing' as a solution, they have someone to offer that agreeable support – their lover. These events are more than shocking. These events demand society to look into the emotional vacuum that women live in which pushes them to destruction, and most importantly, in the dark, they never see the light again. "It requires a social shift toward the greatest emotional intelligence, empathy, and accountability to prevent such tragedies," says Dr Shrivastava.